Blindness? or Deafness?

This morning I thought about gouging out my eyes in frustration. Then I realized that I would still be able to hear her complaints.

Would I rather be sightless and still hear her voice? Or watch her mouth move... without hearing the sounds coming out?

Oh! the choices we are driven to make!

Can I choose to be far, far away from here?

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God, grant me the serenity...

I'm taking deep breaths, and counting.

I'm staring at the happy things all around my desk, trying to feel the emotions behind them.

On top of my regular meds, I took an anti-anxiety drug; in hopes of calming the demons that seem to be plaguing me today.

I feel the need to smooth my feathers down; to glide along a lake of glass. I want to breathe in serenity and peace. I want to expell the turmoil that resides in my soul.

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My spanking name

A co-worker called out to me this morning, "Rita Lolita!"

No one calls me that! Unless of course I'm in trouble and going to get the hairbrush on my bare bottom. (back in the day you could spank bad children and not get hauled off to jail.) I clenched up immediately. (you would too! it hurts! trust me.)

Then she proceeded to "dress me down" for my breakfast beverage of choice. "I'm going to tell your MOTHER!"

Seriously?

My mother?

OK.

Whatever.

If you are concerned about my health - voice your concern. Just please, PLEASE, do not scream out my spanking name.

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Odd people in the New Year

Why does the TEMP employee keep walking by my desk? He walks by a hundred times each day. Bladder problem?

His body language shows that he is trying NOT to look into my cubicle, but failing miserably. I see his eyes shift in my direction as he passes by. I see him flinch as his shifted eyes meet mine. I see him jerk his shifted eyes away. He looks guilty. But of what?

Am I wrong to keep catching him do this? (I find it amusing... maybe he's afraid of me?)

Plus... he smells.

Badly.

Have I told that story? No?

Hmmm. Perhaps for another day.

Happy New Year!