weary

I am combing over the paperwork and composing a list of things that need attention. There are so many things that have gone awry on this particular package. While I was out "sick", the signed documents were assigned to one processor. Also, while I was out "sick", the collateral documents were assigned to another. A third portion of the deal was assigned to yet another person. None of them knew what the other was doing. Here we are, almost two months later, and the whole pile is dumped back in my lap. It is returned to me with no explanation as to why it was not resolved in my absence; or why we have taken no action to remedy the alleged problems.

In my eyes it is simple; straightforward even.

And yet, here it is. Now it's a tangled mess. Now it looks like we are completely incompetent. Actually, it looks like *I* am the one who doesn't know what she is doing. It looks like *I* am the one who screwed up.

I am so upset about this that I am practically paralyzed over it.

I hope sleeping helps. That is all I want right now.

My bed.

My bed and a sleeping pill.

Dreamless sleep.